I was minding our jade shop one day when a good looking young man walked in, grasping for breadth and looking harassed. He addressed me by my name. He explained that he just came in from the airport and his wallet was picked. Now he owed the taxi driver $80. He had contacted his brother and he would be coming in an hour’s time. Could I lend him the money first to pay his cab fare and he would pay me back later?
Sure, No Problem.
The problem was he never turn up but My Excellency came in.
She poured forth her great wisdom of hind-sight and droned at my eardrums until it almost fell off.
Score 1: “I am not against charity but it is stupid to be conned.”
Score 2: “You should go down and pay the cab fare yourself to see whether he is genuine.”
Score 3: “Think! Why doesn’t he take the taxi home directly instead of coming here to wait for his brother.”
Score 4: “He addressed you by your name and you think he is genuine. Everybody around here knows you.”
Score 5: “Why don’t you ask him to leave his bag behind?” (Eerr.. Such wisdom, if his bag contained No 4 White I would be dead, No 4 being pure uncut heroin from the Golden Triangle).
Score 6: “If he wants money then at least you should sight his identification.”
And so on and so forth………
I just shrugged my shoulders, clasped my thumb in between the palm of my right hand, stuck out my 4 fingers and raised it to my fore-head. This was my own way of telling her that she had indeed great Fore-Sight or Four-Fingers on the Fore-head when she came out with such flash-in-the-pan wisdom.
Now sometimes I rather erred and be conned of some money (which amount is within my means) than to leave this poor man strangled.
By the way, My Excellency is my wife of over 30 years. When she is angry I would address her as My Excellency, when she is very angry I will bow to her at almost right angle like some rogue Sir Walter Raleigh, the El Dorado Knight of QE 1, and intone the salutation of Her Royal Highness and when she is very very angry I will pinch my trousers at my thigh level with my two hands, cross my legs, bow with exaggerated fanfare, do a Nancy-boy curtsy and ………..….
…and is time to do a David Copperfield and disappear.
(Note: this is a revision on one of my previous post and it comes under the appropriate category)